Heh heh. Here's a bunch of inspirational images I've procured from the etherworld. Amazing, right? Dude, the priapus guys? Here's what they are quoted as saying to thieves,
"I warn you, my lad, you will be sodomised; you, my girl, I shall futter; for the thief who is bearded, a third punishment remains."
"... If I do seize you . . . you shall be so stretched that you will think your anus never had any wrinkles."
-en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus
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